Magic Moments

When you are ready, Magic happens.

Unexpectedly, today was magical. Not only like every Sunday tends to be, with the Sunday morning conversation with Pawan, and the lazy lie in, but in bigger, more fantistical way.
Chamki and i had a sudden adventure- complete with memorabilia and photographs.
Then, my super-smart, super-funny, super-hero bloger friend decided to take me out for coffee and we had the fun-n-est time. Surprises after surprises occassionally interspersed with reality checks (in the form of "madam, this is India") and runs up slopes, races to beer shops (which, btw, never had beer- only noodle bar did) , bad jokes, and lots of discoveries.
To you, who made this so fun,
Thank you. :)

21 Things I Want in a Lover

Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
That it alone does not equate wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion?
But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine?politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom?
are you funny?
la self-deprecating? like adventure?
and have many formed opinions?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice
in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure
in the meantime
I'll live like there's no tomorrow

Are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times
a week?
Up for being experimental? are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?
are you not addicted?

...curious and communicative...

Alanis Morissette

musings with lyrics...

if we chose our lovers from a checklist, this would be mine.

journalling at cafe coffee day with chamki

you can see more journal pages here.

journalling

Good Morning Monday!

A glorious monday morning
does anyone ever say that!?

became with a quiet wake up.
and lots of fresh air
in a long walk around bandra
with a coffee and sketch stopover
at
crepe station.

came back to SARK's newsletter for February:

" Our heads are round to allow our thoughts to change direction. "
Francis Picabia

something stupid

TO X:

Days like this, i just feel stupid. stupid for loving. for loving like this. for believing too much. for lighting a candle in prayer for a lover who's leaving for holiday with another lover. for violating my own principles. for hating and not blaming and still answering calls. for agreeing to be the other, then the one, then the other for almost half a year... but love has its lessons and my current mindscape would have me believe that this has a purpose and however painful, loving relationships are worth sustaining. is there never an answer? does love always have to be discovered and understood alone?

Soul Card writings- A Series

These are a series of cards I drew during a conversation, on a particular issue... a long, convoluted issue with no end or solution in sight. This card came so often- all the time, every pick it was either that card or the base. I see a relevance, a connection. But not entirely. if you see one, if something immediately strikes you about the image, tell me. Maybe it'll help.
To see the card that corresponds to each of these pieces, click on the date.

I

01-02-07

Errupt.

it may bleed

don't be afraid to get dirty

it may hurt

but it's surface

-the wound.

don't be afraid

just breathe

i know you are blameless.

are you still hiding something?

show me.

you are already forgiven.

am i?

blood. bleed. bloody.

cut. sever. abort.

do you know the truth?

there will be calm.

pray for clarity.

II

03.02.07

Muddied.

even your clarity

is

muddied.

leave.

move into the sun.

or else

III

03-02-07

distress is an experience

at once

painful

and catalytic.

change is on the way.

IV

03-02-07

a rupture

then blood

covered

clean hands

are not enough to prove innocence.

V

03-02-07

i am stained

uncleanable

never again

that freshness

of face and soul

foolish

but not unfeeling.

look at me

now

stains

dark brown

like chocolate

or dried blood

on my face

my hands

my memory.

To Abhishek

i pray for you
my heart
a stable core
amidst all the turbulence
of anger.rain.heartbreak.
pray for you
protection
as you have given me
a wild but unwavering
love.
accept my gratitude.

3.02.07
Anda Pau

Dummy, you can see your soul card here

To Chamki

wipe the surface
clean
just beneath it
is clarity.

nevermind
the friction
or the daily grind.
just wipe the surface
clean
and beneath it
is
clarity.

you can see this card here

ideas
burst open like
flaming stars like
a million eyes
open and alive like
red like
an unexpected kiss
like a flower blooming out of time like
a simultaneous climax like
emotional outburst like
a
pin
drop
in
silence.

2nd February, 2007
Barista

in response to this soul card

an exercise in recollection

come with me while
i run
chase after me and
when i'm lost
just look for a shadow peeking
just behind you
follow it
i will run
run till we reach
a place of
laughterscreamingjoy.

It's the edge of the cliff
one foot suspended
open abyss below
hold my hand
let's leap
we'll scream "free falling"
all the way down

note: this was written in response to a soul card. see the card here

chamki, you are famous

to see more of chamki, click on the title on this post.

HELL'S BELLS AND FURTIVE FOLLIES

Went to see them last week. beauty. agility. strength. expression.

Journalling faces

a recent journal page...well, not so recent. just got around to scanning them recently. for more of these pages, go here.
the poem on it is Lonely Hearts by Wendy Cope.

A Letter in 3 Stanzas

I

Dear A,

Are you as afraid to say

HEART

as I am?

Has it ceased to you to mean just

'maan',

or something that

loves, feels, can be touched

by random kindness?

Have you started to look

at it

as an

Organ

that may stop beating

today

tomorrow

next year?

II

If mine stops beating

and yours is really close

to it,

can it be

that

yours can beat for both?

III

A beating heart

is

such an intimate thing.

like faces

pressedtogether

in love and fear.

20.01.07

- in a certain context

random musings

A string of posts today. Just feels like one of those days that I have so much to say!
Reading Erica Jong so always plenty to say on that, owing to that.

" Molly is more important than my writing. Any child is."

yes, children are.
because we bring them into this world.
because they don't ask to be born.
because you're all they have.
because they can't make it alone.

another bit from the book:

" i promise unwavering love while you experiment with hate"

says Jong to Molly in her book. Such a lovely thing to say. giving someone you love the freedom to hate you. promising love, still. allowing them to form an opinion. allowing them back in lovingly, openly, immediately. a different dimension to today's love and loving.

"does love necessarily have a gender?"

Jong in a note on homosexuality. i find comfort in this. that there are more people thinking about this. humanising this. accepting this. i feel sexual orientation is different from love. love is humanising. calling a form of affection "gay", is, in many ways, an attempt to dehumanise.
people are people.
not gay. straight. lesbian. jew.proliteriat.

MOBILE BLOGGING

WARDEN ROAD BARISTA, MUMBAI

My date-with-self day. i wrote to chamki. i wrote to abhishek. i drew. i walked. i photographed. and now its time to sip some coffee and write for me.

This is a catching up post for my own reflection more than anything else, but feel free to read and see what i've been up to.

• naina came to mumbai. met her for a day. half a day. nice. but not as intimate nor as momentous as i'd have imagined. why did i think it wouls be momentous? i don't know. comfortable, yes. but with a gap, i think. naina, i never want to lose touch with you!
• taniya the bitch finally got something from me in the mail. a little drawing. a little writing. a lot of love. bitch, i hope you know that.
• chamki came to nepal. and now we are sisters. the rest is not history as they would have said. but an ever deepening philosophy. Chamki, you have something waiting for you.
• bani asked if i could do the storyline and script for an animation. bani, thanks for thinking of me, and i hope i do you justice!
• mail art has been paused for a while now, in favour of personal creation, and giving art to friends and family. mail artists, a little patience. you will have art your way soon!
• Tommy Kane got fan mail from me. lol. (and replied!)

Bandra Bonding

bandra walk
Originally uploaded by mahimaisme.

Part of the many Birthday pages

click on the post title to see more

CHAMKI, NEPAL