we guide our own stars...more musings from the art journal

...not knowing that we guide our own stars, we hide our mistakes, give up our dreams, stop stretching our arms out for achievements, and wait for our stars to save us.

3rd march 2006

more musings

on war:
stop calling them 'targets'.
call them people.
call them homes.
call them families
and little children
and their pet dogs.
call them somebody's dream.
maybe then it'll be harder to kill them.

collage

my most recent art journal pages are all full of collage.....i've been experimenting with it a great deal and i find it frees me from block i have about other creative aspects. i can draw complex images in collage. i can create surreal forms and images.... i find its easier and more fulfilling for me to work in collage because it allows me to create without the fear of perfection...if you don't like what you see, you can always collage another layer on top of it!

the five people you will meet in heaven

....each [person] affects the other and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one.

...it is not until much later that children understand, their stories and all of their accomplishments sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the waters of their lives.

...denial of affection. the damage done.

...there are no random acts. we are all connected.

...no life is a waste. the only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.

...lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.

to those we love

i think, most of our lives, we spend assuming...in terms of relationships, that is... assuming they know we love them, assuming they know we're here to support them, assuming...assuming...assuming...and most of the time, they DON'T know...and so they go about hating themselves, feeding their insecurities, wishing someone was there for them.
i think the deepest act of support is to tell those we love that we love them. that alone can make a difference, change a life.

...at another level,
its hard for us, insecure as we are, to talk to people about what we're going through inside. we fear being misunderstood. we fear the inability to articulate correctly what we want to say. we fear reactions and judgements...and so, we withdraw.
only when we fight this resistance and open ourselves out to another do we learn that the only hope for that suffocating loneliness is to let it out and share it with somebody.

bubbles of ideas

while doing up the inside cover of my art journal, i spontaneously decided i wanted to make bubbles...lovely, soft, fragile bubbles.
muah later, i wrote one day:
"... that's why i wanted bubbles on the inside....ideas bubbling to the surface of my imagination- almost surreal, barely tangible, boundariless."

towards love-o-mania

we must always try so hard to understand our loved ones, to show them love, to give them support. To always leave them happier than they were before.

this occured to me when i was in psychology class discussing suicides and prevention of it.

the writing around the page reads:

bach says
'nothing has meaning until it changes what you think and who you are'.

things that have meaning:
to always be loving.
laughing at your mistakes.
dreams.
trying.
comfort.
crying on the phone.
spending your savings on someone you love.
saying i love you.
laughing through tears.
confessions.
holding hands.
praying.
believing.
effort.
love.
joy.
books.

and that's one of the people i love most...