Learning to Love You More

You: Hello?

Me: Hey.

You: I have some things I want to say.

Me: me too.

You: But maybe that can all wait.

Me: yes, maybe we’ll screw it more if we talk about it right now.

You: I’m already saturated. I don’t think I can right all this anyway.

Me: me neither. But it’s not your fault or mine. We together screwed up somewhere, I think. And I don’t know how we can get back what we had.

You: I hope we can. Everything seems heightened. Every mistake seems huge, just another screw up. All the laughter feels fleeting.

Me: I don’t know what we’re doing wrong, or how we could have gotten to this stage so suddenly. From one moment to the next, everything changed. I wish you’d just told me earlier. I was here. I would have wanted to know: even if for no other reason than that I’d like to have been comforted, and I’d like to have been there to comfort you.

You: …

Me: don’t say sorry or say I know. I know you’re sorry. I am too. But just listen. I have so much to say and so much I haven’t said because “sorry” always gets in the way. This isn’t about a guilt trip or about mistakes. I only want to be heard. Just listen. Please.

This is an assignment for the Learning to Love You More project. The instructions are as follows:

Assignment #52

Write the phone call you wish you could have.

using a black pen, draw a picture of your cell phone. Be very precise and make your phone look as realisti possible, you can trace the shape of the phone if you want. Please make your drawing by hand, not with a computer. In the window where the caller name appears, write the name of the person who you wish would call you. If you have to, use a fake name. Don't draw anything except the phone, leave the rest of the paper blank. In a separate email document, type the conversation you wish you could have with this person. Use dialogue format.

For more information on this project, and more assignments, click on the post title.